Author name: samandriel
Author email: email@example.com
Sub Category: slash
Keywords: draco/harry, harry/draco, humor
Rating: PG-13 (for language) (for now, later may be more)
Spoilers: SS, CoS, PoA, GoF, OotP, HBP
Summary: An intriguing look at Draco, Harry and somebody else’s journal. Not sure where I want to go with it, please read and review!
DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and
Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Potter really, really annoys me. Today, he thought it would be brilliant to get into a snowball fight with me, Slytherin v. Gryffindor. Apparently, he told his troops to secretly place rocks inside the snowballs. Noone relished this more than Weasel! Granger seems to enjoy guerilla warfare, as many of our snowballs burst into snow pieces just as we lay hands on them. I couldn’t tell what charm she was using, or I would have used them against Gryffindor. Bloody ponces. Dumbledore came out to watch, probably to make sure his prized pupil (Potter) didn’t get hurt. Well, they didn’t! By the end of the day, us Slytherins were black and blue with bruises everywhere, but we got the Gryffindors good! At the end, as we shook hands with them (bloody Dumbledore’s idea), we passed on a simple hex that shall have them in the bathrooms for the next several hours, emptying their bowels. Bloody idiots.
Detention for a month for the hexes. It was brilliant, though, and many of them had to go to Pomfrey to have her ‘stop them up’. We had a good laugh at that. Seeing as it was my idea, I am the one serving the detention. Someone told, and when I find the mole, he (or she) will pay. I found another hex that makes you ralph anything you eat. Very good.
Bloody Snape! I’m in detention with Potter, of all people, and we’re in it for a month, together. Apparently, he got the detention because of the whole rock-in-snowball thing. It was very Slytherin of him, and I feel ashamed I did not think of it.
Snape has us organizing and testing all of his potion ingredients. They’re completely haphazard, no order. Testing is a mite bit ridiculous, as all you do is say ‘Examare!’ while flicking your wand twice at the bottle or whatever. Snape says that when we are done, we get more work. Oh, goody.
Detention is awful. Potter decided to bring along some music this time, and the entire time he swayed to the time of Muggle Christmas music! Eurgh. I probably shouldn’t say this in case it gets into wrong hands, but…Potter has a nice ass. I noticed, of course, while he swayed. OMFG, what is wrong with me? Swine Potter.
Malfoy really, really hated the music! It was a great plan, and I shall have to thank Hermione for the idea. I was dancing to great music, such as “The Nightmare Before Christmas” and “Deck the Halls”. The weirdest part was that Malfoy was checking out my butt. Not like, glaring at it, but actually checking it out. Oh, whatever. I don’t really mind; he’s actually very good looking when he’s not scowling. Note to self: Must check out Malfoy’s butt to see if it is as good-looking as the rest of him.
We have finished cataloguing, sorting, and testing all of Snape’s ingredients. I have no idea what he will have us do next. Potter was interesting last night. He kept on glancing over at me, but seemed more intent on my ass than anything else. Is Potty gay? Don’t know. Oh, nasty thought: does he think about Weasel like that? Eurgh, go away, swine thought! Away, away!
Finished Snape’s job. Wonder what’s next. Hermione thinks that we will be rotated from teacher to teacher, as none of them have enough stuff to keep us for a month.
It was interesting tonight, as Malfoy seemed intent on never letting his butt show. He also glared at me several times when he caught me (trying) to check it out. Damn, must try something else. Perhaps a loss-of-clothes charm. Wonder if he blushes.
Well, here we are, in swine McGonagall’s office. It appears we are to be rotated amongst the teachers until our detention is served. She had us doing the oddest thing: we had to have a staring contest. I, of course, won. I have superior eyesight to Scar Head any day, and besides, I can make anyone flinch by scowling at him.
Caught him trying to check out my ass again. Swine Potty.
Well, we are progressing smoothly. They didn’t connect very much during the Potions detention, but McGonagall seems to be making strides. I don’t think its too good for her though, she came up to my stair and swore at the gryffin when she couldn’t guess the right password. Yes, she swore. It was quite scary. However, I am assured that progress is being made in the Malfoy direction.
Swine Potty, Swine Potty, Swine Potty, oh how much of Swine you are! I hate him. His butt is cute, but I hate him. Oh how I wish I could Petrify him. Then he’d be as stiff as a board….bad thoughts, bad bad bad SWINE thoughts. Leave me be! Leave! As I was saying, we had to “thumb wrestle” for detention tonight. Some muggle game that neither Potty nor I are very good at, but he is the tiniest bit better than me, and so won the first game. Bored, we started throwing hexes, charms and curses at eachother. He cast one on me and caused my voice to squeak! I HATE him.
He said he didn’t know the counter, but heard it wears off in a while. I just glared at him the entire time. No talking for me until tomorrow, at the earliest.
Malfoy is so odd. We had a “Thumb War” today in detention (note to self: ask McGonagall what she’s smoking and if I can have some) and to my surprise, I won. So Malfoy threw a curse at me, which I of course avoided. This started an all wand brawl. I threw a new one at him, ‘Squicera’. It causes the victim’s voice to squeak. A lot. It was hilarious! Malfoy just glared at me. He still has a nice butt.
Trade-off night. McGonagall gave us to Madam Pince, who is having us catalog books. The problem? Potty and I have to work together. There’s simply no way of doing it by yourself. He made swine comments the entire time about ‘manhandling’ and such. Swine Potty, Swine Pince, Swine everybody.
Oh, goody. We’re working in the library, where we have to work together if we’re to have any hope of ever leaving the library. Malfoy was being an idjit, as usual. I teased him quite severely. Well, semi-severely. Some of those books were so heavy. I know I’m gonna be sore tomorrow. Maybe I could convice Malfoy to massage some of the pain out. Right.
Oh, a pox on Potty! More cataloguing today, but the entire time HE was making comments about my ass! Stupid Potty, doesn’t even have the decency to be suave about it. He also placed his hands on my ass as he stepped behind me! OOOH Potty, I’m going to kill you with my bare hands!